Why Is There a "W" Code at the End of My Sentence?
If I have written a W code at the end of one the sentences in your paper (or in the margin), then I have seen one or more words that you could eliminate or rephrase so that you could more concisely express your ideas.
Sometimes, you will reread a sentence and see obviously unnecessary or repetitive words. On other occasions, the problematic construction may not be as clear. The information on this page will help you identify and revise some of the less obvious concision problems.
Please Tell That Obnoxious College Professor in Your Head to Quiet Down
For some reason, when we write for college (and often, alas, for our jobs) we decide that we need to sound like obnoxious college professors who talk through their noses and throw in all sorts of foofy sounding words to bedazzle and bore us into submission. More than anything else, this concision page is plea to turn from that pedantic voice in your head and find your own analytical voice: smart but clear and concise.
One of my favorite web sites to explore this topic is The Nuts and Bolts of College Writing. I particularly admire the sections on clarity of expression:
Variations of "it is" and "there is," expletive constructions not only add fluff to your prose but they frequently create grammar confusions and limit your ability to deploy a variety of sentence forms and shapes in your writing. If you find one of these expressions or a variation on the theme ("the reason is," "another reason for this is ..."), rewrite the sentence without the expletive construction. Here are a few samples:
It is
It was
It is obvious that California has a powerful hold on our imaginations.
California obviously has a powerful hold on our imaginations.
This not only cuts down some words; this phrasing more clearly identifies the agent/actor of the sentence.
There is
There are
There was
There were
There is no way to convince Californians to park their cars and use public transportation.
State officials have no way to convince Californians to park their cars and use public transportation.
In this version, the writer does not save any words but does more clearly identify who has no way of convincing California's voters. Again, concision revisions clarify agency (who or what is responsible for what happened) .
Redundancies
When you start reading your writing closely for unnecessary words, the number of times you include redundant words and phrases will surprise you. These redundant words not only bloat sentences but they make your writing sound pompous. Here is an example to help you think about what to look for, but remember, no grammar guide can list all the possible variations of redundant writing that humans have created; you will need to carefully read for this in the editing and proofreading stages of your writing.
Sentence with Redundant Language
Corrected Sentence
Personally, I thinkthat California needs to learn how to pay as it goes. Only then can we control our budget problems.
I think that California needs to learn how to pay as it goes ... or California needs to learn to pay as it goes ...(after all, we already know that this is your opinion; your name is on the essay)
Governor Schwarzenegger is a person who will learn from his mistakes and regroup.
Governor Schwarzenegger will learn from his mistakes and regroup.
In event that Californians decide to pay their true budget costs each year, they will soon discover that we need more tax revenue.
If Californians decide to pay their true budget costs each year, they will soon discover that we need more tax revenue.
Web Resources
Garbl's Writing Center provides a detailed list of redundant phrasings and suggestions for revising them.
For another list of redundant expressions, visit A Guide to Grammar and Writing's Concision section.
If you feel ready to learn more about concision, visit Concision (Part 2) where I discuss other foes to the writer in search of clarity!